I remember when he had a soul attached to the body he now resides in. We were so young when it all began. He touched my body with shaking hands and baited breath. He would smell like scotch and I would let him climb all over me, under me, inside me. Now he just drifts by. Letters from war pour in, but I don't feel anything. No friendship, love, hate, fear , comtempt, just.. nothing. In over 10 years I have never felt nothing about him. Always a strong emotion, good or bad. Comradeship, hate, love, fear, or blinding up against a wall in an alley lust. But.. nothing?

I still feel for the past, the memories.. I still feel love for the person he was, and a little hate for the few years that turned him into the man he is. But at this moment, post e-mail from him.. I feel nothing.. and the part that scares me the most is that I should feel worry or concern due to his current geographical location, but I guess I am too sickened by his social location. So I will just sit here in this dark office, chugging shitty coffee and try to digest the empty heart