September, I quit dope for awhile starting tomorrow, I hate this fucking month. I always have. The coffee has shot my nerves, so I'm tossing that too. Almost a year since Vomit jumped ship and decided to swallow a million pills in some remote part of BC. Anxiety attacks seem to lick at my heels daily, which is forigen to me and a scary feeling I must say. At times I actually laugh out loud that I have been deemed a good person to help people... how funny is that?
I spent so long running after all the things I thought I wanted just to discover that I should just be a server and do whatever makes me happy.. Now how do I untrain my way of thinking? I do I cease to care about my salary? RRSP's? financial security? pathetic need to have a career I deem meaningful? Finding my self worth has been scary and now I feel like i have things to lose. I never felt that before. Hence the attacks I think. Dion is amazing w/ me when i'm acting like the world is falling apart, hell is just always amazing. At least he exists.
Tristan, I miss you like mad! Dion and I are proud about the recent coversion you have made to newfie, you looked so cute in the yellow hat! landline phone yet!??!?! Will your cell be on this weekend? ahhhh! keep having fun and I am so proud of you for being so fearless!