Conversations somehow wander back to you. I am still tied to you in people's minds. I hate when people reflect on anecdotes about you. All of my unaccounted shame just chokes me. The catalog of tiny exploitations sits there for me to read over. I have never been so torn before. It was just so much for me to carry at times. We knew better right? All those silly monogamous people right? Just eat the moments and let them be enough food to live on. At least we were honest right? The blows to my ego became too much to take. The safety net was getting smaller. And I was just sitting in a room full of silence and lubrication and rope burn. But there was always that something. That taste the air had when we just layed in that basement. The way you made me laugh. And that horrible thing that actually makes you charming.