I had pretty much forgotten about Archer untill this weekend. We went out for Lindsay's bday and saw a few of his friends, and Jeff had brought up something that mentioned archer and I. I feel very disconnected from it. I don't think either of us ever even knew each other. I was so young. I was 18, fuck that seems like 100 years ago. It's 5 years since it began.

I wanted to love him, I wanted to be better to him. I didn't like that I would show up at his house at late hours looking for him to stp all the noise. I would not call for 4 months and then just show up, and be around for a while and just leave again. But I dragged it on. The weeks, the months, over a year of my spolied brat behaviour. And Humble Humbert put up with it, I think he wanted a bratty Lolita. But I kept running into a thousand arms of a thousand men.

The last time I saw him he wasn't too happy w/ me. Even though time had passed and I kept my mouth shut about it all. The almost 20 year age difference, the wine, the jazz and my lips sewn shut.

Just lay quietly on the bed while I explore you, just bring me dinner b/c I worked late, just make sure you have heels on and your hair done, Just wrap your lips around this cock, just stare at the ceiling while I fuck you untill boredom, just keep my dirty secrets. Just let me let you destroy me.