His voice echoes on the other end of the phone. He always sounds like he is over compensating. He speaks loudly about women, beer, politics and old times. I hang the phone off my shoulder while I type out an incident report at the shelter. I let out a random noise every now and then so he knows I'm listening. Did he always talk at me like this? I think he must have. I just never had much else to compare it to.

He rants on about his latest conquests and I fight the yawn caught in my throat. For someone who wasn't around much he sure was stifiling. Can someone be a figure head to someone else's lack of self worth? If so, he was... He keeps talking shit about all the bitches he fucks/dominates/uses and the yawn in my throat turns to laughter. He questions my giggles and I pass the blame onto an email I am reading.

Every inch of my body is happy right now. I'll never feel his skin again. No hot breath on my neck, late night drunken calls or pathetic pseudo dates to hide what we really were under all the cum, tears and whip marks. In 9 years I just kept fading. Slowly turning into something I never wanted. I watched him turn into the antithesis of what he was. It's not that love isn't enough.. it's that we never loved each other. We just were comfortably hideous. He didn't want to be needed and I didn't want to need anyone. We both failed at that.

Now I have love, and a partner and a future and am just drunk on happiness.